An update from an undisclosed location

May 21, 2010

Our chance discovery of a 14.4kbps modem fused to a knock-off palm pilot and a Sputnik era satellite phone in a remote jungle shack allows a chance to post an update, post an explanation for the lack of activity on this juice blog. We’ve been risking life and limb on a frantic paper chase. Our efforts to attempt to recover our £15,000 operating fund, lost by a former Juice Nation operative in Minehead, have taken us to some of the most dangerous and downright evil places in the world. We can’t divulge any details about where we’ve been or what we’ve done, even if we wanted to. We are happy to reveal, however, that our travels have exposed us to more plants and their juices than are known to Western food science. This new bank of knowledge will surely elevate Juice Nation to unimaginable heights, as long as we make it back alive, which doesn’t seem likely.

While the battery on this device lasts we might as well have a look at a juice health claim, sent to us by a an operative holding the fort in the UK.

The Independent, May 11 2010

Professor Andy Jones, who seems to be behind this bold beetroot boast, certainly looks like a specimen of healthy humanity. Juice Nation does not exist to promote health claims attached to the drinking of juice, nor does it seek to knock them unjustly. Good luck to the athletes binging on beetroot juice elixir. As we’ve discussed in the Beetgrapple recipe, the juice of the beetroot is a harsh and unusual element, dangerous when isolated. Professor Jones’ guinea pigs drank half a liter a day. To us that seems more dangerous than scaling down a ravine in the Andes, at night, the rocks around you shattering from rifle rounds. Not that we’d know anything about that.

The screen on the device is going dim. Happy Juicing to everyone, we hope to be back.


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